seeing God's Kingdom

Jesus spoke and taught a great deal about God's Kingdom. In fact, I would argue that this is what Jesus cared about more than anything else. He described God's Kingdom through story and metaphor and it seems like his followers had a difficult time grasping what it was and how this related to the religious institutions and factions in the first century. I'm not so certain we understand any better than they did what God's Kingdom exactly is and I'm not so sure this was Jesus' point.

I had an incredible opportunity last week to experience something of God's Kingdom; it was not something I exepected. I was invited by a friend to participate in a Leadership Development Program through the Center for Creative Leadership. It was held here at the San Diego office of CCL and people from all over the country joined me in my home town to participate. So 13 strangers from all different walks of life and work engaged in a week long experiment with 2 faculty members.

Before I entered the experience, I had heard from my friend that it would be an incredible experience and I had heard from another former participant to hold my breathe as I received feedback from my boss, co-workers, reports and people from our community of faith. So, I went in open handedly with little expectation of what would transpire. Would this be the best week and exerience of my life? Would it be difficult for me to hear constructive criticism of how people perceive me?

What I encountered in this course were people, as well as myself, who discovered that developing as a leader is not by simply making a few little tweaks but by looking deep at the core of who we are. By looking at the core of who we are, I think I witnessed God's Kingdom breaking into our lives and world whether we recognize it or not. I would love to share the stories of others but I don't yet have permission to do that. Let me share a few pieces of my story.

By looking at the core of who I am, I was reminded that God has created me uniquely and creatively. I am formed in his image and being conformed to his likeness. I realized that I am often living up to other people's expectations of an ET (Extroverted-Thinker) world but I am an NF (Intuitive Feeler). I encountered the question, how do I live with an open heart? Daily, I have opportunities to engage all sorts of people, become more aware of my surroundings, suspend judgement, ask open questions and offer who I am to others from the core of who I am. This, I see as God's Kingdom breaking into my life and world.

On Saturday, I officiated a wedding at Sunset Cliffs (what an incredible scene to get married). As I began leading the wedding ceremony, I realized that what I had written to share with the couple was not enough. It was a script I wrote and adapted for them in advance but these words were actually not what my heart would say to them. So, I threw out the script and spoke from my heart. I shared with them what my gut was saying (and I don't think it was indigestion).

While I don't think I need to speak off the cuff to live with an open heart, I feel that in this situation, on the cliffs, with this couple and their family and friends gathered around, they needed to hear from my heart. I actually had a difficult time holding it together as I looked into the eyes of the bride and groom and saw the tears of joy welling up in their corners.

God's Kingdom had broken into my life and onto the scene of this wedding. They knew God was there and I saw him at work. We experienced God's Kingdom here on earth as it is in heaven.

Where have you seen God's Kingdom breaking into your life?

movement

Last night, I had the opportunity to anoint with oil half of our 545 Gathering and I found myself honored as people from our community moved forward toward me, allowed and even welcomed me to put my finger on their foreheads and make the sign of the cross as I said this simple phrase, "I anoint you with oil but be filled with the Holy Spirit."

There are certain tangible acts (the Lord's table, baptism, laying on with hands and anointing with oil) that our community participates in that transcend basic acts of worship. When I engage in these acts, I am consistently left contemplating how amazing God is to work through people like me (frail, despicable, sinful and at the same time holy). As I connected with people through this simple act, I looked people in the eye, put a small amount of oil on my finger and then when I could, I would address them by name and say the phrase above. It was a unique and special night for me.

There were many people there last night that are special in my transition to Solana Beach PC. At one point in the process of anointing, I realized that there was a young couple that was moving forward for me to anoint them who would be moving this week to work in another church in Champaign, Illinois. As they made their way closer and closer to me, I felt emotion that I did not expect.

I had mixed emotions as they moved closer to me. There was a longing inside of me that said, "Stay! Please, stay and join with us in our movement to become a missional church. We need your help. I need your help." And at the same time, I wanted to celebrate with them as God will use them in incredible ways as they move to Illinois and use their gifts for his movement in our world.

As I anointed them with oil, I had tears in my eyes at what God was doing in our community of faith as they move on and what God is doing in their lives as they move. I will miss you Kamin's. I hope we keep in touch and if it doesn't work out in Illinois, I hope and pray that God would lead you back to our community.

This story is just one of many stories of movement in and out of our community of faith in the past year and a half. These stories of movement make me think about the transitory state of young adults and what a moving target we are. This movement of people to and from our community, makes me realize how out of control much of life is.

My primary role in our community of faith is to cultivate an environment where young adults (18-35 year olds) find life in Jesus Christ and his community of faith. In the last year, I have experienced highs and lows of this role and call to cultivate this kind of space for young adults. In our transitory cultural setting of North County San Diego, how do we create this space where young adults intentionally put down roots, use their gifts and invest in our community? Yes, I want the gifts of young adults recognized, used and sent out across the world (even Illinois) but I also long for people to settle in and make a home in our larger community. At this point in my life, I have more questions than answers.